30 Year Reflection

Recently I turned 30 in May. Since then, I feel like I’ve been in a state of reflection, which prompts this post. I began to think of the jobs I have had up until now and the things I have learned so far. As I write this point, I urge everyone to take some time to reflect sometime in the next couple of days. I want to start doing monthly check-ins with myself, possibly write about it or just do it to see what I have done and see what still needs to be done moving forward. This reflection post will be framed in the context of the various places where I have worked. I don’t have an extensive list of jobs like some others and there was a point where I was having trouble finding work, for whatever reason, however, I found a way to get to where I am now.

Responsibility/Sacrifice

In high school, I got my first job. It seems like in a Caribbean household at a certain age making your own money is a point of importance, however, it could be specific to the way I was raised. I didn’t think too much of it because I don’t mind hard work. I may complain but I’m always appreciative of what can be learned from a hard day's work. I was lucky enough to have a family member that worked at a McDonald’s close to my home that was able to get me my first job. I didn’t have any complaints about this job because I was now making money, which allowed me to buy my laptop. The main issue with this job however was that I was forced to quit a sport I enjoyed playing (lacrosse) due to my parent’s emphasis on maintaining employment. The team went on to win the championship that year, which irked me a bit because it seemed like everyone else didn’t have to make the same sacrifices I had to. I was kicked off the track team my freshman year due to missing two major track meets because I had to babysit my brothers and again, I had to lose out on a specific experience due to having to work. Looking back, however, I’m appreciative of the skills I gained from that job as well as learning responsibility for the first time and the sacrifice I had to make to get to that point.

Humility/Perseverance

After I graduated high school, I hit a dry spell with employment. I was lucky enough to get a work-study position with the radio station and that experience will stay with me for life. I was able to host a radio station playing electronic music, even though I had about 1-2 consistent listeners (lol). Outside the college, however, I was struggling to find employment. I would apply consistently for jobs only to be told the position was filled or to not hear back at all. At some point, I was able to secure a cashier position at Spencer’s Gifts which I thoroughly enjoyed. The biggest issue with this job however was that I was unable to get more hours if I asked for it and towards the end of my time with the company, I was racking in a whopping $32 a week with only four hours scheduled on the time sheet each week. They explained that due to the size of the store, it was a small store in the mall, and they couldn’t afford to put me on the schedule longer however they would hire and fire people regularly. It opened my eyes to working in retail as the lowest-level employee. Aside from doing this job for pennies, I also would find other ways to make money during this period such as completing 100+ surveys daily (~2-5 mins each) for an extra $30-$50 a week. I was humbled during this period of my life, gaining a true understanding of how terrible the job field can be with a lack of education. I was also forced to find ways to persevere, finding ways to find money to support myself outside of financial assistance from my family for long periods. Difficult 4 ½ years of my life however I wouldn’t trade the experience that I gained from that struggle for anything.

Consistency

For some reason I don’t remember exactly when or how I got the job with Burlington however in writing this reflection post, this was the next job that I received after leaving Spencer’s. First, I was making more money since I worked at least 4-5 days weekly. The store was located in my actual borough as opposed to the town where my school was located so I saved money and time on transportation. The job itself wasn’t bad and it appeared that I was moving in the direction of being a trusted staff member due to being able to close out the registers, a task mainly for supervisors at the time, and moving me to the layaway department, a job requiring the staff to have a good handle on money handling. There weren’t any issues with this job aside from weird supervisors and I’m sure every establishment has a couple of weird supervisors here and there. I titled this experience as consistency because this was the first job in my adult life where I felt some level of consistency with a company. I wasn’t planning on growing with the company, but I did feel like I could grow with the company if I so choose.

Hard Work

For the next job, I was lucky enough to have a family member looking out for me. I was told about a job opening with Plaza Auto Mall, a big car dealership in my city. I was working in the Business Development Center which is a long way to say that I answered all the calls for the service center and assisted with scheduling service appointments for cars. Within my first couple of months, I was able to get employee of the month due to my ability to assist the supervisor with almost any task handed to me. Even though the job was simple enough, I don’t mind a bit of difficulty in my jobs so I asked to be put through the Honda service class so I’ll know how to work on cars and provide assistance to the service providers (basically the people who take your car and inform you what’s going on) and the mechanics by completing any oil changes to offload some of the work for the company. The director of my department was on board for this plan however due to some shady business by his boss, he was unfortunately fired and my dream of being more useful was crushed. Throughout my time there I can confidently say that I was one of the few people that was very useful to the company due to my high recidivism rate (%60 percent of the people I scheduled came back) and my ability to get service providers on the phone to speak to angry customers about their car. I left that job once I got another job offer finally in my field, however not before the same director that fired my director offered me another job to attempt to stop me from leaving the company. The overall experience with this company provided me with an appreciation for hard work, albeit simple. Regardless of the difficulty of a job, if the management is respectful, I tend to go above and beyond to complete my tasks.

Stress Management

The next job that I worked as was a case manager at a women’s shelter. To this day I regard this as one of my favorite jobs that I’ve worked so far. It was my first job in my field, and I was able to scope out the possibilities of my professional practice from the experience that I gained at that establishment. I also started graduate school around this time frame as well, so I began to have a lot on my plate. The main premise of my job was completing intake assessments for the residents of the shelter and maintaining the plans agreed upon until they left the facility. On one hand, the work was simple however on the other, there weren’t many interventions that I was able to do due to the primary function of the shelter. I explained this in a previous post but for new readers, basically how the shelter system is set up is that a person enters the assessment shelter. From there, they complete a specific set of tasks to get them connected to certain systems that would assist them in the long run as well as identify what place would be able to better assist them with their housing challenges. After the 30-day (it's rarely ever this short of a turnaround due to various factors) period within the assessment shelter, they are moved to the program shelter which is a specialized shelter to assist with the individual’s specific life challenges. After a year or two within this shelter (again, turnaround time is rarely this short) they are provided with various housing options based on their circumstances. On paper it is a great system however in practice there are a lot of cracks that people unfortunately fall through. So, my shelter was the first step of that system, I would complete the assessments for the clients and help them maintain whatever appointments they needed to complete so that they can be ready to be transferred to the next shelter. I liked this job because it wasn’t hard work, and I was finally doing something in my field. Unfortunately, after 5 months at the job, I ended up in the hospital due to what I attribute as stress because, after various medical procedures and doctor’s appointments, nothing was found to be wrong. The only thing that made sense was that I was stressed, and I can explain why. Let’s look at my daily routine for the job. I was expected to be at work around 8/9 am. I would wake up around 5 am and walk 18 minutes to the nearest train station. I would take two trains from Brooklyn to the Bronx which would be about an hour and a half ride. Then from there, I would walk 20 minutes uphill to the shelter mainly because I don’t like waiting for buses nor do I like taking packed buses. Then I would run around the building that was a shelter built into an old armory so there are no elevators, just large stone steps. I’d do that for 8 hours and then do the whole commute in reverse. Tack on a terrible lack of sleep and it would make sense for me to be hospitalized for my body just breaking down on me. Eventually, I left this job however not without making some good friends that I keep in contact with. The reason for the title of this section being stress management is due to realizing that I need to take better care of myself and not allow the stress to take over. Unfortunately, I’m still in that learning process because I’ve been to the hospital a couple of times after that situation for similar reasons.

Crisis Management

The next job that I was able to secure was in a housing agency. The way I explained it was that I went from working at the first step of the housing process to working at the last step in the process. I was working with a supportive housing program which meant that the clients either had mental health, medical, substance abuse, or a combination of all three but they were shown that they were able to live in the community with minimal intervention. After some time, I realized that was the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever been sold by a company, but we’ll get to why I say that. My main task of the job was to complete monthly home assessments to see how the client is living in the community and to make sure that their home is in great shape. If there is an issue with their home, I would have to reach out to landlords (slumlords if we’re being brutally honest) to schedule repairs for the apartments. I met a couple of interesting characters on both the employee side and the client side of this job. First year or two I didn’t have many issues with the job. I enjoyed my supervisor and the team I worked with. Some clients provided me with some issues however it wasn’t anything I wasn’t able to handle. It wasn’t until Covid and my getting a promotion that I started to see the true colors of some of the people that I worked under. During this time, I was able to finish my master’s in social work and receive my social work license. Another team scoped me out because they needed a social worker however, I was told on multiple occasions not to work with the team because the director wasn’t the greatest person. However, against better judgment, I decided to go towards the higher paying job because I’m an adult that has bills. Now the team wasn’t bad however the director was a piece of shit. She seemed to care more about kissing the asses of the people in the main office rather than the concerns of her staff or the clients within her program who also have a lot of colorful words for her. The nail in the coffin for me to hightail it out of there was when there was a client, who happened to be a Jewish man, who would curse me out, call me various racist epithets and threaten my well-being daily for 8 months straight. I was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras last year and he also threatened my director (because the POS director became the VP of the program at this time) and he ended up getting arrested. I had to jump on a Zoom meeting with various department heads to discuss what happened and rather than supporting us she minimized the issue and blatantly lied about his problems to save face. From that point on I was looking for an out. What made me angry more was that the moment his threats were directed at her is when she was pushing for change. Eventually, I was able to find a job doing therapy and the stress that I was under with this job led me to quit before I intended. The reason however for this section being called crisis management was due to the number of random issues that I was required to handle outside of my job field. I had to deal with clients refusing to pay rent, client’s having squatters in their apartments, clients fighting each other, clients burning down their apartments (both on purpose and accidentally), clients being threatened and threatening, etc. Housing/homelessness is a hodgepodge of issues that can’t be solved just by giving a person a home however that is another argument for another day.

Enlightenment/Disappointment

One of the most recent jobs is that of a psychotherapist. I worked for a small clinic not too close to my neighborhood, but I was happy for the opportunity. Since high school, I had three plans for the outcome of my life. Plan A was to study toxicology, Plan B was to study psychology and become a therapist, and Plan C was to study law. After realizing I was terrible at chemistry, plan B went into effect. So, I was ecstatic that I was provided with the opportunity to achieve a long-standing goal. At first, it was great however I was also doing food delivery at the beginning of my employment. So, I was always working. I then was able to start working at the current job that I am working now and then the issues started. I attribute the issues to my general bad health choices and habits which led me to cancel many appointments with clients. The clients did not have an issue because they understood and also had a tendency to cancel at a moment’s notice, yet the company had an issue that led to a sit-down to discuss the issue. It was agreed that I would reduce my caseload to 15 clients and manage my caseload and eventually, my caseload will be brought up to 20. The new year happened, and half my clients were discharged due to feeling better about their situation and losing coverage that would allow them to see me at the facility (the office only takes 2 insurances so that is not the best outcome for many people). So now I’m down to 9 clients. I also started to notice a slight coldness from many of the managers which was interesting, but I didn’t think too much of it. I also started feeling like I should exit soon, but I brushed off that feeling. A week before I was fired from the company, I was told by my supervisor that the plan would be to reintroduce new clients back into my caseload seeing as my paperwork is now in order and I’ve been maintaining the clients I have. Then I receive an email stating I’m being “dismissed” due to not maintaining 20 client contact hours. It was weird because I was told one thing, but another thing happens. I’m sure I can make a case for wrongful termination however it doesn’t make sense to work at a place that doesn’t want you there. I was the only black male therapist working in person in Brooklyn and they lost that benefit. I was glad for the experience however fuck em all for the bs they put me through at the end. I hope they read this specific section and feel some type of way about it 😂. But the reason for this title is that at first, I realized my calling which led to mini enlightenment however I was left disappointed in how it played out. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t play a part in my demise however how do you expect someone to adhere to a contract when you’re the person holding all the cards to make sure that I maintain it? It came off as shady and people wanted to through a race factor in it because I was the only black male there and one of 4 black people in a practice of about 20 people, but I don’t see it that way. I just see bad business practice and someone that cares a bit more than me will put them in their place. I have plans and aspirations that this place would have eventually held me back from so thanks for the opportunity, go fuck yourself.

?

Now I’m working in a hospital, and I like it so far. Give me a couple of months and I’ll also update you on this experience.

Conclusion

We are all a combination of our life experiences, and I provided you with a snapshot of my life based on the jobs that I’ve worked. I urge all my peers to do some type of reflection this year, especially my ’93 babies, we’re turning 30 this year and we’ve come a long way. Thank you for reading through this and like always any questions or concerns, leave a comment and I’ll get back to you.