Mental Health Check In (September)

I am content. I am not happy nor am I sad. I’m not upset nor am I mad. I’m literally just here. This post is going to be a little more personal than usual. Anyone that knows me, truly knows me, is used to my random grandiose predictions for the future or my random jokes at any given time. However lately I haven’t been in the mood for any of it. I could say I’ve become hyper focused on my goals which has led me to reduce the extravagance (for lack of a better term) of my general personality. I’ve been repeating the same mantra to myself daily, focus on what you can control. I believe I’ve spoken on change on this blog at one point and I know it’s inevitable. In the same way that time marches on, change will happen. We could fight the change to death of us but regardless of our efforts, it will happen. I say all that to further explain the reason for my daily reminder of my mantra. Focus on what you can control. There are many things happening in my life that I can’t control. Things that I would want to change because I know if I had the power, the changes that would be made would result in a positive experience for all parties involved. However, at the same time I must remember to focus on what I can control. What will happen will happen when it needs to happen. Therefore, I bide my time and wait. With waiting comes periods of silence. Not actual silence but figurative silence. Things become repetitive. Wake up, brush my teeth, go to work, come home, meditate, go back out for work and sleep. Day in and day out. When there is no variation, you go on autopilot. Things happen but these same things aren’t impactful enough for you to make any drastic changes so again, more of the same. Repetitive. So like I first stated, I am content. There is nothing I can do to change things but wait, so that’s what I do. I wait. For the change that is inevitable. The change that will force me to make a drastic decision that may impact my daily reality. And once that change happens then maybe the mood will change with it. But until then…I am content.

Apologies for the rambling but this is my daily mood for the past month. For the upcoming months there will be a more personal post like this, labeled my “Mental Health Check In” and identifying the month that it is for. There will be no promotion for these posts because this isn’t vital information for you. However if you are a regular reader then you’ll of course see them. There may be more than one post for each month depending on the situations that arise as time moves on but until next time, have a good day and thanks for taking the time out to read this.